


here (with you) from now on

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: (the ocs r just shells to advance the plot lmfao), Gen, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mutual Pining, Underage Drinking, actually? the ocs are not all empty shells you've been warned, because i live for suffering, every chapter title is a song lyric help me, jared is trans but this fic is not about him being trans, to add more as i go along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 11:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11161086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jared Kleinman has always been one of the kids with very few friends. He likes to think he has a lot of them - he’s gone to enough parties and been to enough get togethers to say so - but he really doesn’t have anyone he’d trust with his biggest problems and stay up until 3am talking to about his deepest secrets.Well, there’s Evan.--or, jared kleinman is gay(tm).





	here (with you) from now on

**Author's Note:**

> \- whats up i've never finished a multi-chap fic but i really like the premise for this one so lets go bois
> 
> \- i love kleinsen with all of my heart. there's a lack of kleinsen content. i aim to change that
> 
> \- the title is from "aquaman" by walk the moon, which is a very uh. kleinsen. song so yea. every chap title will be from some alt song from my Alternative Days , mainly declan mckenna in all honesty. youve been warned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- warnings for this chapter: f slur used in reference to oneself
> 
> \- chapter title is from "aquaman" by walk the moon

Jared Kleinman is gay.

Okay, so _maybe_ he brags about having touched a boob, but, like, it was technically a dare and they both consented and they each got $5 for it, so that fact is more just an excuse to throw people off his scent. But rest assured, Jared Kleinman is gay, and if he had nothing stopping him he’d proclaim it to the world.

In reality, there’s nothing holding him back except for himself.

Or maybe it’s the internalized fear of rampant homophobia that he’s been aware of since he first realized he was gay at all. Maybe it’s the fact that his parents chided him for holding hands with a boy when he was eight years old, sitting atop the rotting wooden playground and talking about cartoons. Maybe it’s the fact that his parents _said_ they’d love him for who he was, but when he came home with a boy for the first time, their family dinner was awkward and the glances his mother and father had passed back basically screamed  _how did we raise a fag?_

No, it’s definitely himself.

Not the fact that his first relationship had ended with being walked in on by the boy’s father and having to explain to him what on earth they were doing and _they weren’t doing anything they just kissed there’s nothing wrong with that_ but Jared had never been more terrified in his miserable life than when he got kicked out of his first boyfriend’s house with the promise of “I will call the police if you ever come near this house again”. He was fourteen.

And then there was the thing with the _transferring schools because of bullying_ , and like, maybe he didn’t _have_ to go through with that seeing as how there were basically three months until the end of his eighth grade year, but his mom was kind of offended that people were calling her son names. But it wasn’t like they were _wrong_ , really.

Jared Kleinman has always been one of the kids with very few friends. He likes to think he has a lot of them - he’s gone to enough parties and been to enough get togethers to say so - but he really doesn’t have anyone he’d trust with his biggest problems and stay up until 3am talking to about his deepest secrets.

Well, there’s Evan.

Evan, who doesn’t call him slurs and isn’t horrible to him without rightful reason and is generally _good_ to him, which is a lot more than Jared can say for the vast majority of the people he calls his friends. Evan, who doesn’t at all mind Jared’s near-constant company and who is very, very pretty to look at when he’s focused on his calculus homework and he’s talking to him, he’s talking to him, _he’s talking to me -_

“Jared, I asked what you got for number 32?”

“What?”

“Number 32. I’ve asked you, like - like three times, now.”

“Oh. Uh.” Jared looks down at his mostly blank piece of paper. “Uh, I haven’t. Gotten there yet.”

“Jared, this - this is due in like, an hour.”

“I haven’t turned in one goddamn calculus assignment all year, even if I’ve done it.” Jared smiles, raising an eyebrow as he pushes out his chair. “So what makes you think I’m starting now?”

Evan grins right back at him - Jared feels his heart skip a beat. “Jared, you are _stubborn_.”

Before Jared can think of a response to bite back that shows that he is, indeed, fucking stubborn, Evan turns and walks right out of the library. Jared is left sitting, halfway pushed out from the table, alone. He stands up, pursing his lips as he picks up his backpack and slings it over his shoulder.

For a moment, he considers sitting back down and getting back to his calculus homework. He may have exaggerated a _little_ bit when he said he hasn’t done any of his homework - he just can’t be bothered most of the time, or he’s unable to focus, but he’s turned in enough assignments that his teacher still asks him for them and shows a look of vague disappointment when Jared tells her no.

But he doesn’t, because sitting in the library alone before school is a great way to get pegged as a fucking loser. He is a loser, and he doesn’t need anything else to help people label him as such. Like. He’s vice president of their school’s gaming club.

Who the fuck is in _gaming club_?

Jared pushes the door from the library open enough to step into the hallway just as his watch switches to _7:43 a.m._ , which leaves him just enough time to fuck around a little bit before he has to get to class - he mainly wanders the hallway and opens and closes his locker exactly four times, because his boredom gets to him, and suddenly before he knows it he’s sitting in class three minutes before the _warning bell_ all alone because he’s a fucking loser and he _knows it_ , too, goddamn it -

He fiddles absentmindedly with the scroll wheel on the mouse of the computer that’s set up in front of him until he sees someone in his peripheral vision and turns to his left with a start. And then it’s none other than Connor Murphy, taking a seat that is not his and looking at Jared with something that vaguely resembles a smile.

So, naturally, Jared asks, “What the _fuck_ is wrong with you today?”

And Connor shoots back, “Why would anything be wrong?” And he punctuates it with this grin that makes Jared want to beat the shit out of him.

“You’re baked,” Jared says all of a sudden, like if the idea that the school’s revident stoner could be, you know, _stoned_ , is completely foreign.

Connor points a finger at him, smile widening and eyebrows raising. “Correctamundo, Mr. Kleinman. Good one.”

“Oh, fuck _off_ , Murphy,” he says, half because he doesn’t have a response and half because he really does want Connor to fuck off. Then, “I don’t know why you even bothered showing up at all. You’ve barely been in class all semester.”

“I think you’re being dramatic, Kleinman,” Connor says, looking pointedly at his painted fingernails. “I’ve been here more than I haven’t been. For once.”

“Star student,” Jared says, and he goes to jab a little more but the warning bell rings and Connor stands up, making his way to his seat at the opposite end of the classroom.

Then Evan walks in, and Jared tries his best to _not_ smile like an idiot when Evan starts walking toward him but a little bit of it just breaks out, and Evan raises an eyebrow as he sits down two seats away.

“Did - did you finish your calculus homework?” Evan says, a little hint of a tease in his voice as he pulls a flash drive from his backpack and sets it on the table.

“What do _you_ think?”

And Evan smiles.

And Jared smiles. And burns Evan’s smile into his brain, making absolutely certain that he can keep it there because he’ll be damned if he’s ever seen something that would make him melt more than that.

And it _pisses him off._

The guy who sits in between the two - his name is. Uh. _Noah_ , Jared realizes with a sudden feeling of satisfaction - takes his seat, and Jared feels himself sag just a little bit - _stop that_ \- but the guy turns to talk to Jared and Jared can’t just _not_ talk to him so he does.

And then.

“So, you know, uh - you know Jason, right? He’s the one with the - the hair.” And Noah makes this weird _woosh_ motion with his hand over his head.

Jared does, indeed, know the Jason with the hair, so he nods and Noah says, “Well, he’s got this, like. Fuckin’... kegger going on tomorrow night, and I mean. Come. Invite people.”

Jared furrows his eyebrows, debating the possible reasons that this kid, who is so obviously in a way higher position than him in the high school social ladder, would be secondhand inviting him to Jason Cobb’s kegger. Noah probably knows that Jared will likely show up alone to this party, and he will be made a laughing stock, and he’ll never hear the end of Jared fucking Kleinman showing up alone at a party and probably having to go cry in the bathroom.

“O...kay,” he manages finally, pushing all of his doubt into that one word. Because. Well. What else is there to do? He can’t say no.

Noah smiles, and Jared feels like it holds absolutely no malice, like if he’s genuinely glad that Jared Kleinman, vice president of the gaming club who goes out of his way to try to be halfway friends with Connor fucking Murphy, is going to a kegger.

The words _invite people_ linger in Jared’s head long after the bell rings for class to start. Their teacher starts speaking, going off about simulation models and their connection to real-life phenomena, but Jared can’t focus on anything else.

**—**

Jared truly has chosen the biggest group of losers.

In all honesty, he doesn’t even have a problem with it. They’re all just a big bunch of losers and it makes him really, really happy.

Losers don’t go to keggers. But Jared says fuck the system.

So at lunch he sits down next to Alana Beck and across from Evan at one of the rickety wooden picnic tables set up outside the cafeteria, interrupting whatever lame math conversation they were probably having with an abrupt, “So, how do you guys feel about keggers?”

Alana looks at him like if he’s sprouted another head, scooting to the left a little bit to distance herself from him. “Horrible,” she says finally, clasping her hands together. “I don’t think that a house full of drunken teenagers is really a spectacular idea.”

“Awesome. Thanks mom, didn’t ask,” Jared shoots back, and at Alana’s hurt reaction, he says, “I’m kidding.”

Jared looks expectantly at Evan, who just shrugs, saying something along the lines of “You know I don’t do parties” but it’s so quiet and spoken into his brown paper bag lunch that Jared thinks he may have imagined that Evan said anything at all.

Connor approaches their table, and Jared feigns a look of disgust when he sits down but drops it almost immediately. “Murphy, I’ve got a question for you, but first - are you sober?”

“Sadly,” Connor says, taking a bite of the apple he’d just bought.

“Alright, so, you like keggers, right? You’d come with me to a kegger?”

Connor snorts, replying, “What, d’you want me to suck your dick in Jason Cobb’s guest bedroom, too?” around his mouthful of apple.

“You know, since you offered…” Jared starts, biting back a grin, and Alana’s look of horror makes him start laughing, and he makes himself stop because he’s laughing alone and _that’s_ weird _, Jared, you’re laughing by your goddamn self._

An uncomfortable silence settles over the four of them before Jared continues. “Okay, so, anyways. Please. It’s tomorrow.”

“What - who in their right mind even invited you to a kegger?” Evan asks, and Jared can’t tell whether it’s a genuine question or not, but. Well.

That hurt.

“Are you seriously planning on going to Jason Cobb’s kegger? Have you ever even _talked_ to him?” Connor chimes in.

“Okay, well, not _really_ , but that kid in APCSP with us asked me to go, so like, I couldn’t say no.” A beat. Then, “I just don’t want to go alone.”

It comes out sounding a lot more miserable than Jared wants it to. And then he’s being dramatic, like he always is. Dramatic.

But then.

“Sure.”

All three of them turn to look at Alana, who not five minutes ago said that a house full of drunken teenagers was an incredibly horrible idea.

“I mean. You need a designated driver. And I don’t usually drink.”

Jared takes the _usually_ and files it away for later. “Oh. Awesome. Alana Beck at a kegger, wonder what that’s like?”

“ _Sober_ ,” she bites out, and Jared raises his hands in surrender, turning to look at Connor as he speaks.

“I mean, you know,” Connor says, examining his hands, “Jason Cobb himself directly invited me, so.”

“You mean, he invited your sister and you’re coming.” Silence. “Am I wrong?”

“No.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“C’mon, Ev,” Alana says after a noticeable silence from Evan. He looks up and sighs, tapping his fingers against the rotting wood of the table.

“I’m - I don’t know. I - I’ll think about it, I guess?”

Jared considers that a victory.

**—**

**_new message_ **

**_to: evan_ **

_so what time shld i pick u up tmrw_

_**from: evan** _

_seven i guess_

**Author's Note:**

> \- follow me @hotdamnitslaura on tumblr and @forforevr on instagram to stay updated with my gross life, see beautiful pictures of mike faist, or scream at me in my inbox/dms
> 
> \- leave kudos, subscribe, and Please comment like i cry over every comment i get and i try to reply
> 
> \- thank u for reading :Oc


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